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Illegal Robot Fighting?

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#1 Hanz


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Posted 24 August 2007 - 02:51 PM


Los Angeles, CA – Actor and Internet personality, Wil Wheaton, has been indicted by federal prosecutors on charges of promoting and hosting a robot fighting ring.

Prosecutors allege Wheaton kicked and electrocuted robots that weren't performing well, as many as fifteen robots. "He just blew their circuits," said US Attorney Bob Schrumpkin.

The news shocked fans of Wheaton's, many of whom are robot owners themselves. Christie Cho of Simi Valley said, "I have an Aibo and a Poo-Chi and I love them. I can't believe the cruelty. I'll be putting my DVD of Stand By Me up on Ebay."

Wheaton contends that nobody gets hurt in robot fighting, and that people just don't understand. "It's deeply ingrained in the geek culture. We see nothing wrong with it," said Wheaton. "We get together, drink a few Red Bulls and watch the robots fight it out. I don’t see what the big deal is."

Violet Tamagotchi, President of People for the Ethical Treatment of Robots (PETR), picketed outside Wheaton's home. She doesn't buy the "part of our culture" argument. "Asimov said robots can't hurt us, so why does Wheaton hurt robots? I thought Wil embraced technology, not destroyed it," she said.

Protest signs urged the Screen Actor's Guild (SAG) asking to suspend Wheaton from the actors' union.

"We're surprised and saddened by this news on Mr. Wheaton. While there is a long history of abusive behavior by actors, it's usually with production assistants and not robots. This goes beyond anything we've ever seen," said a representative from SAG.

Many openly wondered if Wheaton would ever act again. "I don't know, when people see how geeky this is, they might not believe him in a non-nerd role. That could ruin him," said Chip Scoop from the Hollywood Reporter.

In a robot fight, two remote controlled robots with various weapons face each other in a battle to the death. Often, the loser is so badly hurt that they must be destroyed. If convicted Wheaton could face 25 years in prison, or face "The Electricator" fighting robot in a human-robot death match.


That is the stupidest thing I have read today.

#2 Bowties


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Posted 24 August 2007 - 03:01 PM

Is that for real? What a stupid thing to fight about! Why don't they protest something worthwhile rather than waste their time on this?

#3 Hanz


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Posted 24 August 2007 - 03:02 PM

Exactly...its a freaking robot.

#4 Linkmaster30000


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Posted 24 August 2007 - 03:32 PM

What the... what the Fudge? That's just stupid.

#5 Albert Wesker

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Posted 25 August 2007 - 01:51 AM

That is just stupid.

#6 Pope Yvarg

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Posted 25 August 2007 - 11:13 PM

Bahahaha! This is even worse than dogfighting getting two weeks in the news spotlight (It deserved one, two at the most, days)! XD.gif

#7 Spritek


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Posted 28 August 2007 - 08:18 PM

I used to watch a TV show called, "Battlebots"

To me, this is practically the same thing.

#8 Mega Grumpig

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Posted 28 August 2007 - 08:27 PM

Okay wtf

That's like suing someone for Toaster abuse...

#9 Dekrem


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Posted 01 September 2007 - 07:05 AM

So...instead of treating robots like property and allowing the owners to sue, the prosecutors are treating them like animals and accusing him of abuse...


...I get it! Robots are animals now!

We humans, we're funny people...

Edited by Dekrem, 01 September 2007 - 07:05 AM.

#10 Robo


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Posted 01 September 2007 - 07:10 AM

Really, what the hell is this about? Instead of saving costs and sueing ACTUAL criminals, they do this.

I don't want to insult anyone by saying this...but the American government/law enforcement stuff sucks Donkey Kong.

#11 Lil Rez

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Posted 01 September 2007 - 10:04 PM

It's fake. It's obviously not true. Sorry folks.

#12 Sabrage


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Posted 01 September 2007 - 10:23 PM

No... It's true... I lost Sparky to the FBI... They took him in for "questioning" and I never saw him again.

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